Lately, we've been discussing emerging trends in weddings. One in particular is that many couples today are skipping the bouquet and garter toss. In our podcast, we postulate on the reasons many couples are telling us they don't want to do it. Now, we don't want to argue for or against the bouquet toss either way, we just want to discuss its decline in popularity. We believe that at the end of the day, it's your wedding, and we're here to give you the absolute best version of your wedding, no matter what you decide. Don't let anyone try to push you into doing anything you don't want to do.
So, without further ado, here are four reasons many couples are skipping the bouquet and garter toss. More after the jump:
#1. It Cuts Into Dance Time
Many couples these days, Millennials in particular, get to their reception and just want to cut to the chase. A lot of the time, as soon as they get back from taking post-ceremony photos, they want to get right into being introduced and having their first and parent dances so they can eat! Having recently gotten married myself, I can attest to the fact that your most precious commodity on your wedding day is time. I can with authority say that the day absolutely flies by much faster than you think it will. The last thing most couples want is to run out of time and only have a little time for dancing at the end.
My biggest hindrance during my wedding was my inability to cross the room to get a plate, grab a drink, or find the restroom without being stopped to chat with every family member, old friend, neighbor, coworker, and pretty much most everyone I've ever known. Not that it was bothersome, it's the greatest day of your life; but if I could do one thing differently, I would have booked another hour or two. We were able to squeeze in the bouquet and garter near the end, and I'm glad we did, but many couples are skipping it altogether for that very reason.
#2. Where Are the Single People?
As I said in the podcast, this one is most definitely a toss-up (no pun intended). I've done many weddings where the couple were in their early twenties and all of their friends were young, unmarried, and definitely down to party. However, I've got to say many couples wait until their thirties to get married, at which point all of their friends have already taken the plunge. Weddings like that tend to have more married couples and children.
Not that there's anything wrong with any of that, but a great many couples opt to nix the bouquet and garter toss simply because there is no one around to catch it. It's never a deal breaker, but it certainly is something worth considering when you are deciding whether or not to have the tosses.
#3. It's a Fading Tradition
Many couples, ie. Millennials (again), are starting to view their receptions as less of a ceremonial gesture and more of a casual but still grandiose celebration. In other words, they want to do away with the pageantry and just party. This entry is similar to the first, except it's less about time and more about values and priorities.
I've worked with quite a few couples who asked me to announce them, play them their first dance, and just play good music for the rest of the night. Many of these couples also want to skip the dances with their parents as well (though I always recommend doing it whenever possible as it's an important moment in every parent's life). Once again though, there is no wrong way to do a wedding; if all you need is a white dress, a keg, and a DJ, then go for it. You won't be alone.
#4. It's Kind of Awkward...
Personally, I don't find this to be the strongest argument, but a great deal of brides and grooms (and guests) claim it to be the case. Some people will tell you it's just plain awkward to line up a bunch of strangers next to each other to a Cyndi Lauper or Beyonce song, and they're not exactly wrong.
For the women, they're typically wearing high heels, they're all bunched up in a tight formation, and nobody wants to seem too eager to catch the bouquet. But then they do, and someone breaks a heel and busts their head. I've seen some stuff.
Even worse, though, are the men. The women may get hurt, but at least you can get them to the dance floor to line up. Most men, for some reason, are terrified of being the guy to catch the garter. I've seen large groups of grown men scatter like palmetto bugs when the lights come on. I've seen the garter go up into the air and land flat on the floor in the middle of a circle of men not even pretending to reach for it.
And speaking of awkward, I've known many brides that have told me the garter removal is just too embarrassing. When their dads and their pastors are watching, some brides just can't go through with their groom digging around underneath their dress to Marvin Gaye.
Well there you have it, four good reasons many couples are choosing not to have the bouquet and garter toss at their weddings. At AnyDayDJ.com we're not going to push you either way, but we want you to know that you have options when it comes to planning your reception. And we're here to help you every step of the way.
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Every month we sit down and discuss topics important to our company, namely DJing and the wedding industry.